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Depression

 

  Why Me?

There is only one major difference between depression and mental illness.  It is the mania.  With Bipolar Disorder you have manic episodes and depressive episodes combined.  With depression you only have depressive episodes.  If you suffer from debilitating depression, you feel worthless, you are as low as you can possibly imagine and you are having suicidal thoughts, you may be suffering from clinical depression. 

In a sense your brain chemicals are out of whack when depressed.  You may need medication to control it.  Commonly known as Clinical Depression, it affects more than 2 million Americans to as of 2006, but more and more people are coming forward now and this number will only increase with time as our society has created such a stressful environment that it is being diagnosed a lot more than before.  This can lead to a blanket diagnosis with many actually not being depressed.  This can also, hopefully lead to a better understanding over time.  But it can also lead to over diagnosis, and lessen the quality of medical care we with the disease receive.  This is a mood disorder as well as any mental illness. 

You may feel extremely irritable and anxious when depressed.  They may feel paranoid or unusually fearful.  They will get lose interest in hobbies of the past.  You will seem out of control.  When you think you are in control.  You may be inappropriately angry.  Those around you will feel the effects of these symptoms.  Those around them may not know what to do. 

Keep a journal of the episodes.  This will aid you in describing the episodes to your doctor or therapist.  You may drink thinking this is a solution because it makes you feel so much different to calm yourself, this is self-medication. But is will never be enough.  

Depression is not just something you have made up in your head no matter who tells you that.  It is a real mental illness.  Some of the symptoms are as follows:


1.   Persistent sad or anxious mood

2.   Emptiness

3.   Feeling of guilt

4  Feeling of worthlessness

5.   Feeling of helplessness

6.   Loss of interest in your hobbies

7.   Loss of appetite

8.   Decreased sex drive

You may lose your appetite. You may have a significant weight loss due to this.  Nothing will taste good, nothing will smell good.  You won’t be able to eat.  If you feel worthless and don’t want to live anymore you are experiencing depression and you need to get help to cure it.  It may return from time to time.  It is a horrible feeling.  Having depression is like having a light turned out on your soul. You may be sad all the time.  You may feel empty inside.  You may feel guilty for putting your family through the things that you put them through while you are in a depressive state of mind. You will lose all interest in your hobbies.  You may feel completely helpless, and hopeless.

Only a good therapist can do something for you.  Depression can take you to the darkest place in your soul.  It’s the devil at his finest hour.  If you become suicidal, he has won.  Don’t let this happen to you.  Your loved ones will be the ones who pay the price. 

Depression takes over your life.  You can feel that there is a virtual freight train crashing. It also takes over the lives of those around you.  They don’t understand why you aren’t yourself.  Your spouse may only see that they are now married to a virtual stranger. You will change from the person you were before.  You may have to get used to a life of medications.  Try to understand your symptoms.  Your family may not understand why you have lost interest in your hobbies. They don’t understand why you sit endlessly staring off into space.  Thinking nothing of importance, except quilt for not being able to get up and clean the house, wash the car, cook, or do any of the other things that need to be done or you enjoy doing.

There is a solution. There is medication, anti-depressants and talk therapy.  But one of the last things you want to do when you are in a depressive state of mind is talk to someone.   You may have lost friendships over your depression.  

Depression takes the wind out of your sails.  You don’t enjoy life like you used to.  You feel so down that nothing seems to work to make you feel better.  You feel like you are so lonely even though you may have many people around you.  You just plain feel alone.  You feel like no one understands.  You don’t want to take the dog for a walk.  You don’t want to socialize.  You don’t feel up to getting out of bed most days.  There is treatment for it though.  So seek the treatment and get better, if not for yourself, for those around you.

Depression can take your life away if you let it.  So don’t let it.  You will dread thing you used to enjoy.  You may not be able to get out of the funk.  Your poor family has been through so much if you are depressed and causes of depression.  Have sympathy for them. 

It is just an illness. People need to realize that those who suffer with mental illness are not abnormal.  You are simply suffering from a debilitating disease.  When you are in remission you will feel like the disease is gone.  But it is always there just beneath the surface.  Ready to rear its ugly head again.

Talk to your Psychiatrist to determine which type fits you.  Don’t try to self-diagnose.  This will only bring on further confusion.  Confusion can manifest its ugly head also in a job setting.  This makes you feel less self-worth and afraid that you may be fired for your performance.  Putting your family or yourself if you’re alone, in financial trouble. 

So don’t feel bad if you have this illness and you cannot control your symptoms at work. There are reasons for this.  As mentioned above.  Many times people will continue to have symptoms even after getting treatment.  This is a life long illness.  You will have to come to terms with that fact.  Get the treatment you need and do the best you can.   If you work in the health community there will be more understanding, but not always.  Many health workers are simply ignorant to the disease of depression. 

You will experience an ignorant person, that’s just a fact of life.  But you must not let them get you down. You know the truth.  You have an illness that is all, just like if you were in a wheelchair or had cancer.  So don’t let them get you down, and make you stop seeking help, press on and eventually you will find the right doctors and open up to a therapist to get the help you need.



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